Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
