what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
