I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
false alarm. still invincible.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
