Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
