There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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