She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
