omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
