It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
