VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
