Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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