Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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