I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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