ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
