There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
