Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
