butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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