if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize