so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
