In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
