I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
