Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
