Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
