people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Still dying that you shit outside
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
