Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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