Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
