real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize