i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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