I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
