maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
please come you make the beer taste better
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
