By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
