We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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