Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
