stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize