Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
