i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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