i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
