We won't sleep together?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
