you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
