so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
