So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
