I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
