he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
