You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize