break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
