bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
