it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize