one two three fourrrrnication!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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