I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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