she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
