guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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