You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
