so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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