He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize