it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
