Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
