By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
