Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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