I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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