Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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