Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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