where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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