At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
