That's intense
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
