Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
