At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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