Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
