Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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