if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
