I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize