Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
