We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
