So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Randomize
